Dear Mr. Stillwater,

I'm not convinced the last message was from you. The IP adddress attached to your viewing time said "Brentwood" and I'm pretty sure earlier ones had said "San Jose", but I could be wrong, I've been wrong before... more often than I've been right.

However, you did, once again, call me Mr. Oblivion. Which leads me to believe it is the same Mr. Stillwater and also leads me to point out: it's "Mr. ObliviAn"; as in: my brother's name is "jeromyOBLIVIAN"; as in: "first name spelled wrong, last name spelled wrong" for him, but I, thankfully, only have initials for a first name (and initials are hard to misspell).
Please don't spell "oblivion" properly again while referring to me. My parents didn't spend all that time giving my brother and me fucked up names just so that you could go and correct them.

Second order of business, if I want to turn this thing into a Maxim, Stuff, FHM fest, then I'll do it. Maybe I'll take down all the writing and just put up more pictures of hot, dynamite ass. Nobody fucking reads this shit anyway (except for my friends, who just do it to patronize me, and YOU, who likes to play sophomoric games with the site). I know I sound angry, and I'm not, I'm just a jerk. Or did you know that already?

You're right, I don't know who you are, but how about a hint? You call this a "good thing" we're having, what's so good about it? This relationship is very one-sided and I've got enough one-sided relationships in real life, I don't need a fake, cyberspace one as well. So do me a favor, before I turn this whole site into photos of h.d.a. just to spite you, and give me a hint to your identity.

Or at least answer this questionaire and send it to me.
Guess what? You can use the "Fire Off A Comment" option below.

1. What's your name?
2. Who are you?
3. Why did you insist (until answering the questions above) on retaining your anonymity?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Pinball or Video Games?
6. When is your birthday?
7. What was the last movie you saw?
8. When I say the name "Dave", who or what do you think of?
9. Have you ever tried to write a novel?
10. If so, what was it about? If not, why not?
11. Have I ever seen you naked or touched your feet?
12. Have you ever seen me naked or touched my feet?
13. Are you that girl with the red shoes from The Big Foot Lodge?
-- If you are, I'm really sorry about that. I kind of panicked and didn't know what to tell you about some stuff regarding where the night was going and while you were in the bathroom it seemed like a good time to leave. But you have a nice apartment and I thought you were pretty cool. And I liked your haircut, despite what your friend said. You should just ignore her from now on, she seems like a dorkus malorkus and just likes telling you that you're not as cool as she is. Well lemme tell you, you're cooler... and believe me, I don't know much but I know cool.
P.S. I'm sorry I forgot your name.
14. Coca-Cola or Pepsi?
15. Yanks or Boston?
16. Baseball or a stupid, no brainer, retard sport?
17. Do you like bacon? Like, a lot? How much? Show me with your hands.
18. When was the last time someone uttered these words to you: "You are the sunshine and embodiment of all that is important in my life"?
19. Do we know each other in real life?
20. If so, for how long?
21. Are you Blair? Are you A-Dog?
22. Tell me something I don't know about you.

Originally Printed 5/17/05
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