Profile

This profile has been filled out so that you, the reader, may get to know Mr. Oblivian a little better.

-WHAT COLOR UNDIES ARE YOU WEARING?
skin.

-WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the computer hum.

-SOUPS OR SALAD?
french fries.

-WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
smells like winter.

-LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
parole officer.

-HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I need to take a crap.

-FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
the one where the alkie misses his lips completely and just pours the booze into his/her crotch...oh man! that one's a kneeslapper!

-DIET SODA OR "REAL"?
real...real GOOD! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, now wait a minute, I done told it wrong...lemme try again...

-HAIR COLOR?
dirty.

-EYE COLOR?
green and the other one's green too.

-LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
"Butt-Plug Bongos"

- SUMMER OR WINTER?
Um...it's December.

-RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
long distance relationships...as in: her in her bedroom and me across the street with Fisher-Price binoculars.

-LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
Um...the couch is sort of in the middle of the front room and the TV is against the wall and there are bookcases on the opposite wall and they have all the DVDs except for the DVDs in the weird cases on either side of the TV and there's a coffee table between the couch and the TV and in another room my bed is at an angle coming out of the corner of my bedroom and there are bookcases against the wall and books on the floor and books in the closet and stuff under the bed and Lisa (but Lisa's not under the bed, she's...uh...hmm, actually I don't know where Lisa is).

-WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
"Holy Blood, Holy Grail"
"Moravagine"
"Diary of a Rapist"

-WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
dead mouse. Oh, the mouse PAD!...um, lemme look: oh, it's uh...it's got a dead mouse on it too.

-FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Girl Talk.

-WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Drank with Kate, insulted the bartender, threw some peanuts, pissed on someone's car, assaulted a hooker from a moving car, told Kate that she wasn't my mother and couldn't tell me what to do and that if she was my mother I'd smack her in the mouth, pissed in another car, set fire to an AA meeting place, couldn't get in my house so I broke a window and crawled in, poured hydrogen peroxide on my new cuts and bandaged 'em with soctch tape, poked the baby with a hot knitting needle when it wouldn't stop crying, poked myself with a hot knitting needle, had a glass of warm milk, curled up by the fire with a copy of "The Bridges of Madison County" and fell asleep...and then the nightmares started...

-FAVORITE SMELL?
girl's breath.

-CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE??
no, but I bet you can't jerk yourself off with your armpit! HA! Now who's better than who you elitist prick?

- FAVORITE FLOWER?
Gold Medal Brand

-HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
she doesn't let me have any keys.

-CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Um, yes...unless you want to see me do it.

-WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE TRAPPED IN A ROOM WITH?
When I was in jail there was a guy who kept shitting his pants and instead of cleaning it up he would just shove toilet paper down the back of his underwear, and he told the EXACT SAME story over and over again. I don't want to be trapped in a room with that guy again. I think his name was Perry. [unfortunately this one wasn't a joke]

-COFFEE?
Don Francisco Columbia Supremo, MOTHAFUCKA !--! !--!

-FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE?
the one that was made from the bones and menstrual blood of virgins. I don't think he ever named it.

-DOGS OR CATS?
In a fight? Uh...dogs.

-FAVORITE PLACE TO VISIT?
Jail. No, I'm just kidding. Um...Fresno.
Originally Printed 12/02/04

.

J.J. Oblivian Los Angeles, CA Age: 27 I'm in a gang called California.

Front Page

Columns
...... ... I'm Andy Rooney!
...... A Few Reasons...

Back Issues
...... November '05
...... October '05
...... August '05
...... July '05
...... June '05
...... May '05
...... April '05
...... March '05
...... February '05
...... January '05
...... December '04

Clippings
...... Pooetry
...... Good Music - 2004
...... Good Movies - 2004

Supplements
...... Stills
...... Motion
...... Text --> Motion
...... [currently untitled]
...... Backpage

Profile