No Good Ideas This Weekend

Like the title says, I didn't have a single semi-decent idea for a column this weekend. So instead you get a list of things I said in the last three days:
---- -- "You smell like a big bowl of fuckass dumb."
---- -- "I gots da monkey skillz dat pay da billz... in bananas."
---- -- "Yeah, it's a BFA... in sucking my balls."
---- -- "Well, if you play your cards wrong that just might happen." (this was in ----------response to some dumb girl saying "We could become best friends now.")
---- -- "I'm at del Taco."
---- -- "No. It wasn't you reaching down there and your head between my legs, it was ----------my own clumsiness that dropped the bottle."
---- -- "This reminds me of why I stopped trying."
---- -- "No, there were no looks. I wasn't exchanging any looks. My eyes were ----------over in that direction, watching Tank Girl."
---- -- "Oh, who knows. Probably crying salty, pill-fueled tears of 'I don't give a shit'." ---- -- "Uh-huh."
---- -- "It's not faggy so much as it's-... yeah, I guess it is faggy."
---- -- "It's not about it being tight. It's about when you use that image later in the day, ----------if you know what I mean, knowing that with one good tug that whole thing is ----------coming off her."
---- -- "Oh, with this song playing: get a little boy on my lap, right here, so I can ----------rub his peen."
---- -- "I don't mean to lay all this stuff on you since we don't know each other that ----------well, but..." [and then I said a bunch of personal shit]
---- -- "You could be nicer. Ow. Ow! Yes, you could. You could- Ow! Is this ----------playing? You think this- Ow! Shit. You think this is playing?" (I was having ----------this exchange with a cat)
---- -- "Don't hit either of your balls on that bar. It doesn't feel good. Shit, why does it ----------have to hurt so much?"
Originally Printed on 5/2/05
Fire Off A Comment


J.J. Oblivian
Los Angeles, CA
Age: 27

I'm in a gang
called California.

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