My Sense of Touch

I used to go to LACMA and touch the paintings.
Anything I liked and wasn’t protected by glass, I’d slowly inch towards. I’d lean in as if I was mapping the terrain of the brushstrokes, hands behind my back. Then I’d scratch my nose and on my hand’s return-trip to behind my back, a finger would glance across a few dabs of paint.
I’ve touched a Renoir, a Rothko, a Jacob Lawrence, and a Modigliani.

I take walks late at night. I walk from my apartment to Overland. Sometimes I walk into someone’s front yard and rub the front door of their house. If they have a bench or chair on the front porch I’ll sit down for a bit and stroke the armrests while I have a cigarette.

I finger women’s purses in bars. If it’s dark enough and a girl’s left her purse open, I’ll slip my fingers into the top and just trace the edges of things. Compacts, wallets, pill bottles, tampons.

I recently got a new car that gets good gas mileage and doesn’t attract attention (two qualities the Plymouth doesn’t have). So a little over a month ago I shut my phone off and left it in the apartment. I would later tell my friends that I had gone back to the Bay Area to see my family. Instead, I drove to Mexico. I was there four days.
There really are donkey shows just across the border. When the main performance is over it’s easy to stick around as the room clears if you just keep moving and make yourself look like you belong there. If you're still in there when the other patrons aren't, you'll find the proprietors rather approachable. For $65 they let me pet the donkey and for $20 I got to put my fingers in the girl's mouth.

The paintings become just paintings.
The houses kind of become yours.
The purses become translucent and their contents: knowable.
The donkey shows become a petting zoo.
There’s a confidence that comes from realizing these things.
Originally Printed on 5/7/05
Fire Off A Comment





.

J.J. Oblivian Los Angeles, CA Age: 27 I'm in a gang called California.

Front Page

Columns
...... My Sense of Touch
...... $2 Dodger Baseball
...... No Good Ideas...
...... Devaluement

Back Issues
...... April '05
...... March '05
...... February '05
...... January '05
...... December '04

Clippings
...... Pooetry
...... Good Music - 2004
...... Good Movies - 2004

Supplements
...... Stills
...... Motion
...... Text --> Motion
...... [currently untitled]
...... Backpage

Profile